Revenge Shuffle
by peter-pan-equals-luv
Summary: *COMPLETE* Part of my Shuffle universe.  After getting slusheed at the mall in Facebook Shuffle, Santana plots her revenge on her tormenters.  Hilarity will ensue. T for language
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, here we go, the first of four chapters. Enjoy!**

She saw the petite boy first, down the hall as she walked out of the bathroom. He was scanning the area and holding a dreaded large red and white cup. He motioned for someone and Tina and Quinn appeared next to him, each holding the same type cup.

888

"Oh my gosh, San, I'm so sorry," Rachel said the moment she walked in the bathroom. Santana took the offered bag and pulled a towel out. "I should have been with you to defuse the situation, they would have never-"

"B, it's cool," Santana told her. "Help me rinse my hair again?" Rachel nodded as she followed the taller girl to the sink and began rinsing out the remaining blue slush from her dark locks. "You can't always be around, Rach. They just have to learn to take 'Wait for it' as an answer."

Rachel made a noncommittal noise as she wrapped the towel around her hair. "At least you're not blond like Sam, you would have purple hair," she chuckled wetly.

"Rachel, are you crying?"

"No, I'm just happened to be very upset. That happens when one of the people closest to me gets needlessly attacked-"

"Aw, thanks," Santana smirked. She stripped out of her soaked clothes and grabbed the dry clothes from Rachel, changing quickly in the middle of the bathroom. Rachel gathered up the dirty clothes and placed them in a plastic bag before putting in the bag she had brought the change of clothes in.

"Did you drive up here? We can take you home," Rachel offered.

"Nah, you know I gots this, B." She pulled her in for a quick hug. Releasing her, she scooped up the bag. "Thanks, Rachel. Really. Now, go get your boys before they come back," she winked. Rachel laughed and kissed Santana's cheek before flouncing out of the door. One last check in the mirror (thankfully she was dark-skinned, so the blue wasn't quite as noticeable) and she left as well, careful to look for any lurking queens, Goths or former head Cheerios.

She made it to her car unscathed and headed to her usual dry cleaners to drop off her stained clothes. Once she made it home, she called Hummel.

"You little-"

"Hello to you, too, Santana," Kurt said. "Are you ready to tell me what the secret is?"

"It's not my secret to tell, you faerie! One of you _will_ be paying for my dry cleaning," Santana seethed.

"Yes, yes, of course, I'll give you the money tomorrow after you get out of Glee. So is Rachel dating Puck or Sam?"

She didn't even bother answering, simply snarling in the phone before ending the call. "Stupid fucking assholes."

And she started plotting.

888

"Here you go," Kurt chirped, handing her a few bills and a black bag.

"What's in the bag, Hummel?" Santana asked, eyeing it warily.

"An outfit to make up for the one we probably ruined. Don't worry, it's your size and more than makes up for what you were wearing before. That being said, you should spill." Kurt smiled brightly at her.

"Whatever, I'm still not telling you anything." Santana whipped around, her hair fanning out behind her, her ears sharp for the sound of following feet. She made it to her car without incident and only once she locked the door did she breathe easier.

Driving home afford her some quiet time to further her plans of revenge on the terrible trio, as she now was referring to them. Her phone went on just as she settled on her bed with her laptop.

_Mike says theyre going 2 spill 2morrow. I bet him 20 bucks it would be next week_

_From: The Wheelman_

_To: The Wheelman; Crazy Legs_

_50 bucks on Monday_

_Ur on_

_From: Crazy Legs_

_Wow, confident_

_From: The Wheelman_

Santana smirked, tucking her phone under her torso. _We'll see who wins,_ she thought before returning to her plotting. She knew what she could do to Kurt and Quinn but Tina was going to be harder, mostly because she was Mike's girl, but partly because the girl didn't seem like anything would really bother her.

But Santana would make sure that she got her payback on the little Goth girl.


	2. Chapter 2

Lying on her bed that night, Santana decided that she would get Quinn first. That prank would be the easiest, though no less intricate than the others. It would involve a bit of sneaking and a lot of planning…

Not that Santana minded, of course, 'cause since she quit Cherrios, things have been really boring.

888

It wasn't until Tuesday of that next week that she was able to pull of the prank. The weekend was a bad time, because she wanted Quinn to be humiliated during a school day, and Monday it was cloudy out. Through extensive research (meaning she had bugged Finn until he spilled), Santana learned that Quinn kept a strict schedule that rivaled Rachel's. First, she was up at five o'clock, when she jogged for ten miles, then back home for various other exercises until her shower at seven. And Quinn loved to relax in the shower, usually spending an average of forty five minutes in there.

As much as Santana wanted to prank her, she _was not_ getting up at no five in the morning. Hell, seven was pushing it! Instead, she decided to put the pranking wheels in motion when Quinn took her morning shower. She checked Monday morning and found that Quinn's mum left for whatever at seven, giving Santana plenty of time to sneak into the house.

And so Tuesday morning found her sitting in Quinn's neighbors tree, her eyes trained on Quinn's bedroom. She watched as the blonde girl entered her room and gathered her clothes for the day, pausing only to kiss her mother goodbye before entering the bathroom. Quinn's mother left and Santana waited for ten minutes to ensure that Quinn wasn't going to come back out of the bathroom or her mum didn't return, then she shimmied down the tree, ignoring the odd look the neighbor gave her, and darted across the lawns to Quinn's front door.

Pulling the spare key from under the mat, she unlocked the door and stealthily went up the stairs, which proved to be pointless once she stepped foot on the landing, considering Quinn had the stereo up loud and was singing along at top volume. Santana rolled her eyes and hurried to Quinn's room and, with a glance at the en suite bathroom, made a beeline to the vanity, searching for her body lotion. She remembered the overly sweet smell of vanilla from back when they were Cheerio's together.

Pissed that the bottle didn't appear to be in the room, Santana sighed and stared at the bathroom door from a moment.

"Of course she would have it in the bathroom," she groaned, approaching the door and ever-so-gently turning the knob. The door swung open silently and the Latina breathed a sigh of relief. Scanning the countertop, she quickly located the bottle, opening it and taking a whiff just to be sure. Looking inside, she guessed it was about half full. Taking a small bottle out her pocket, Santana quickly dumped the whole thing in with the lotion. Twisting the cap back on, she shook the bottle vigorously for several moments before returning it to its original place and stashing the bottle she brought back in her pocket.

Waiting until the next song to come on, Santana exited the bathroom just as silently as she had entered and left, making sure to lock the door and stick the key back in its place before she headed to her car, whistling cheerfully and enjoying the sun, barely above the horizon, on her face.

888

It would take awhile for the prank to work, which is how she planned it, of course, but the anticipation was _killing_ her. She knew the exact moment Quinn found out because her scream echoed through the whole school.

Santana was sitting in the cafeteria with Pucklevanberry, Chang Squared and Artie when it happened.

"I just don't see why we can't-" Rachel was saying, only to be cut off by a loud scream.

"What the fuck was that?" Puck said, jumping up and looking around like most of the students were doing. Santana kept her mouth shut, guessing at what it probably was. Just then, the bell rang and their group left, packing up the remains of lunch and dumping it before heading out, Puck slinging an arm around Rachel's shoulders while Sam wrapped his arm around her waist.

Just as they and Santana reached Rachel's locker, Quinn stormed past, her skin a bright blue and her blonde hair bouncing. Jaws dropped as she walked down the hall, a buzz of whispers following in her wake. Santana was struggling to hold back laughter.

"San, why does Quinn look like Smurfette?" Rachel whispered. The Latina shrugged, trying to remain nonchalant. Rachel sighed, knowing her friend had something to do with it, and gathered the books she would need for her afternoon classes. "I'm ready," she announced to her boyfriends, closing her locker and drawing them out of their quiet conversation.

"Later," Santana said, heading in the opposite direction to her class.

"Bye, San," Rachel called.

Slipping in her seat, Santana chatted with Tina until her phone vibrated. Pulling it out discreetly, since the teacher was looking in her general direction, she checked the message.

_SPILL_

_From: BFFFFFFFFFFFFF_

_To: BFFFFFFFFFFFFF_

_Im sure i dont know what youre talking about_

_Whatever, how did you turn quinn into smurfette?_

_From: BFFFFFFFFFFFFF_

_To: BFFFFFFFFFFFFF_

_I may or may not have slipped some special blue dye thats activated by uv rays into her body lotion _

…_i flove you, even though that was really mean_

_From: BFFFFFFFFFFFFF_

_To: BFFFFFFFFFFFFF_

_Hey, i looked like something from avatar because of those slusheess, stfu :P_

The bell chose that moment to ring and Santana tucked her phone away, knowing that Rachel would never text during class, preparing for a long class. She smirked, pleased with herself.

**A/N: I probably should have mentioned a few things about this particular story.**

**First, the chapters won't be very long, about two or three pages each.**

**B) I'll be updating them in tandem with Lover Shuffle, so the next one won't come out until LS catches up with it.**

**Finally, I don't know if there actually is a dye like that, but it sounds badass, dunnit? :D**


	3. Chapter 3

After the success of Smurfette Quinn, Santana started plotting her next move. The prank on Tina was easy to figure out, but difficult to execute. Santana recalled a conversation she had with Mike several months ago about the fact that Tina was pretty anal about her things. Mike was pretty sure she was OCD because everything had to be just so.

So it was a simple matter of feng shui-ing Tina's room. Easy, right?

Well, not really, which is why she dialed a certain Asian friend for back up.

"Hey, Wes, I need your help. Think you could rally some troops for me?"

After Regionals, the New Directions and the Warblers somehow managed to become friends, probably because Kurt very nearly insisted upon it. Actually, that's how Rachel found out about Blaine hacking their Facebook accounts; Wes felt guilty.

"_Sure thing, as long as it's nothing illegal."_

"As long as your definition of 'illegal' is a little loose, then, no, it's not illegal." Santana grinned into the phone; Wes liked a bit of a challenge.

"_When and where?"_

"My house on Wednesday night, nine o'clock."

"_Affimative. How many operatives will you require?"_

Santana bit back a chuckle at his sudden use of military-esque lingo. "You, plus four or five guys should do the trick."

"Mission is a go. Will report back with the all clear tomorrow."

She outright laughed. "Night, Rambo."

Wes' throaty chuckle sounded in her ear before he bid her goodnight and hung up. The Latina smirked; things were going exactly as planned.

888

Things were not going as planned.

First off, Wes had only managed to bring three other guys with him.

Second, Tina was not following her normal schedule.

Third, Santana was _hungry_.

"Damn it, why doesn't she just go to sleep?" she hissed, shifting impatiently.

"How do you know this will work?" Jeff asked, pushing back a flop of blond hair. "I mean, it's going to be loud no matter how quiet we try to be."

"Because Tina sleeps like the dead and I have it on good authority that her parents do as well," Santana replied, shifting again.

"Who's authority?" Thad groused, stabbing the ground viciously with a stick.

"Her boyfriend," she smirked before glancing at the still-lit window. "Plus, after we kicked your arses' at Sectionals, the girls had a sleepover and it took us forever to wake Tina up the next day."

Wes glared at her, though it was difficult to tell with only the moonlight shining on his face. "We tied at Sectionals."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Now, _shhh_," she whispered, pointing. The light flicked out, the lawn becoming even darker. "Just a few minutes, then Wes and I will go check. Remember, be stealthy like ninjas."

Logan snorted. "Obviously you don't know Wes," he joked, earning a punch in the arm from the Asian boy. "Kidding, kidding." Silence washed over them as they considered what they were about to do. It was like Santana said, if you were loose with the word 'illegal,' then it was a snap.

"Let's go," she finally whispered, tugging on Wes' arm. Jeff, Thad and Logan watched as they made their way across the yard, then peek into the room. They considered themselves lucky that Tina's room was facing the back yard as a car drove past, the headlights cutting a bright path on the road. Jeff held his breath until it drove past.

Santana gave the signal and they _moved_, hurrying to the window and climbing in after Wes.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do…"

888

Santana wished she could have been there to see Tina's reaction to her new room, but staying up late with the Warblers had left her tired. Besides, she needed to be at school before her Asian foe to put the next part of the plan in action.

Getting Tina's locker combination proved too easy, as the school secretary was the only person in the front office and Santana gave her some bullshit reason to be away from the desk for a long time. It took minutes to find the paper with all the locker combinations and seconds to copy it on a post-it. By the time the woman came back, Santana was once again standing in front of the desk and apologizing because she had just found what she was looking for before she flounced off, heading for Tina's locker.

It opened willingly and she shuffled the books and various papers around before messing with the magnets and pictures that were stuck to the inside of the door. Step two, complete.

She found out later from Mike that Tina nearly had a meltdown when she woke to find her room in complete disarray, her furniture in all the wrong places and her once colour-coordinated closet all mixed together. Mike had to beg her to come to school and practically threw her in the car.

And, since her locker was right down the hallway from Tina's, she heard the piercing shriek the small girl gave out when she opened her locker. _Today is a good day_, Santana thought.

Her mood only improved when she saw that Quinn was still as blue as ever.

During each class, Santana would ask to be excused, only to go back to Tina's carefully reorganized locker and mess it up again. In the two classes they shared, she messed with her pencils when she wasn't looking and even hid her textbook when Tina got up to sharpen one of her pencils.

By the time lunch rolled around, Santana was practically floating. And, being in such a good mood, she decided to throw a party and told Rachel to invite the Warblers. Sure, she could just call Wes again, but why not let other people worry about it when she had more planning to do?

**A/N: Falling asleep, sorry if the ending doesn't make sense. One more chapter to go! Next chapter of Lover Shuffle is up as well. Hope you enjoyed it!**

P.S. This might seem kinda lame, but if you're OCD about your stuff like that, it's hell when someone messes with it (trust me)


	4. Chapter 4

All that was left was the prank on Kurt. Santana was flying high after the double success of pranking Quinn and Tina and now? Now it was time for Kurt to get his comeuppance. Thankfully, she didn't require anyone's help with this particular task; people just had to show up to the party.

Well, that wasn't quite true. She did have to make _one_ stop before the party started…

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Santana looked around.

_Alcohol? Check._

_Cups? Check._

_Ice cubes? Check._

_Mixers? Check._

_Trash cans for the inevitable vomiting? Check._

_Ultimate prank set up? Fucking check._

She grinned; this prank was going to be awesome.

Gleeks and Warblers began arriving and soon the party was underway. Santana made sure to keep cups full, though she didn't drink anything unless it was _really_ watered down. She made extra sure that Kurt's drink was full and strong the whole night, as well as that of his boyfriends cup.

This was going to take some careful timing, she decided.

If she did it too early, it would ruin the party. If she waited too long, Kurt would end up passed out or not remember the prank at all.

And she wanted him to remember.

Never mind the fact that her camera was in her pocket, waiting.

Santana made herself relax and dance with her friends. It was a good party, she decided. Everyone was having fun, dancing and drinking and, in Tina and Mercedes case, laughing hysterically. She smirked. Santana Lopez _knows_ how to throw a fucking party.

Kurt flopped next to her on the couch. "You know I'm sorry about slusheeing you, right?" he giggled, leaning against her heavily.

"Sure, Kurt," she replied, rolling her eyes at him.

"No, really." He sat up, looking at her earnestly. "I know how much it sucks to get slusheed. It was wrong of us to do it."

She almost felt bad about her plan.

_Almost._

"Okay, Kurt," was all she said, patting his head just to mess with him. He scowled but Blaine came over, pulling him up to dance.

Rachel, Sam and Puck all disappeared at one point, only to return looking thoroughly fucked. Santana rolled her eyes and teased her friend about being oversexed. Rachel blushed deeply, elbowing her. After checking on Kurt, the beautiful Latina decided it was time and carefully arranged for Kurt to go, by himself, to get some more liqueur from the basement.

And then a scream ripped through the air.

Santana was the only one who laughed when Kurt came storming back into the living room, covered in bright red slushee.

"What the-" Kurt spotted her then, bent over and clutching her stomach as she laughed. Someone cut off the music.

"Revenge!" Santana shrieked, tears coursing down her cheeks!

"What?" Blaine sputtered, grabbing some napkins and trying to mop up some of the melting slush.

"After your boyfriend and his little friends slusheed me at the mall, I decided to get some revenge on them!" Santana managed to catch her breath to explain. "That's why Quinn is blue and Tina has been acting crazy the past couple of days. I got the ultimate revenge on all of you bitches!"

"You?" Quinn hissed, glaring.

"How could you?" Kurt asked.

"That's so uncool," Tina added, her laughter gone.

Mercedes laughed. "That's awesome!"

Tina snickered. "Yeah, it kinda is…"

Slowly, everyone started laughing, the alcohol working in their systems until even Kurt was laughing.

"DRINKS ALL AROUND!" Santana laughed.

**A/N: And, we are done with Revenge Shuffle! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys are awesome! :)**


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